Making friends as a young woman can feel surprisingly hard. In a digital world shaped by constant connection, comparison, and performance, young women’s friendships don’t always form as easily or naturally as we’re told they should — especially when it feels like everyone else already has their “people”.

Connection through shared purpose

For many of us, friendship doesn’t start with small talk. It starts with a shared purpose. Showing up to the same campaign meeting, creative workshop, or community project, often a little nervous and unsure who else will be there.

There’s something quietly reassuring about that kind of beginning. You’re not there to impress or perform. You’re there because you care about something bigger than the social moment.

Research into how volunteering supports social connection shows that shared activity helps people form meaningful relationships and feel less isolated. Working towards something together builds trust, belonging, and emotional safety — foundations that friendship can grow from.

In my own experience, this has been true. Some of my closest friendships formed through volunteering with university societies and projects with The Young Women’s Movement, where we worked together to plan events, host discussions, and create spaces for people to feel heard. Over time, collaboration softened into care. Messages of encouragement, shared travel, and conversations that stretched far beyond the original project brief.

Why this kind of friendship feels different

Project-based friendships feel different from traditional socialising. There’s less pressure to perform, less fear of saying the wrong thing. You already share something important: a value, a concern, a hope for change.

One evening, after a long event in Glasgow, a group of us found ourselves on the late train back home: exhausted, slightly wired, and unexpectedly open. We talked about burnout, ambition, self-doubt, and the quiet fear of not being enough.

I didn’t realise I was making friends, I just knew I felt steadier when these people were beside me.

Research on volunteering and emotional wellbeing supports this, showing that shared purpose can reduce anxiety and strengthen feelings of belonging, particularly for young people navigating uncertain futures.

From collaborators to community

Some of the best moments didn’t happen during the projects themselves. They happened around them: waiting for buses in the drizzle outside community halls, sharing snacks on long train journeys between Stirling, Edinburgh, and Glasgow, and grabbing cups of tea after long days of organising.

These moments felt small, but they built trust. There’s an intimacy in travelling together, especially late at night or after emotionally demanding work. You see each other tired, passionate, unfiltered.

These moments also made me realise that friendship isn’t always about being around people you like. Sometimes it’s about being around people who work with you, who balance your ideas, who hold space when things get messy.

A different kind of Galentine’s

Galentine’s Day often celebrates friendship through gifts, brunches, and big joyful gestures. But it’s also worth honouring the quieter friendships. The ones formed accidentally. The ones built through late nights, shared values, and collective care.

If making friends feels hard right now, you’re not doing anything wrong. Connection doesn’t always arrive when we’re looking for it. Sometimes, it finds us when we’re busy caring about something bigger than ourselves.

And sometimes, the most meaningful friendships begin not with “we met on a night out”, but with:

We met because we cared about the same things.

Get Involved

If you’re craving connection, consider getting involved in a local project, campaign, or volunteering opportunity. You might not find instant friendship, but you might find people who care about the same things as you.

And this Galentine’s Day, maybe message someone you met through shared purpose and thank them for showing up alongside you.